I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
