Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize