I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Randomize
