i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
