haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Mom said you looked used
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
