forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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