So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
