her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
