Nicole vs. Life
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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