i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
