I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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