Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
