She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
