Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
