It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize