Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
