This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
