Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
