I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
