Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
