last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
