Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
