she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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