Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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