and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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