End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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