She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
