Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
