Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
