Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
