rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
