I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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