I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
