oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
