I just cut my nipple shaving
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
