I got chris browned last night
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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