I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize