You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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