Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Randomize