I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
