She went from zero to smokin in five shots
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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