I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
