If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
