Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so that wasnt chicken after all
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
