id be glad to
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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