At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My underwear smells like fireworks.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
