Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
