I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
