Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
