Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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