why didn't you poke me back
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
