Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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