How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
