Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm bleeding and have questions
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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