Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
