If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
