Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize