I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
