Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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